About Kink Out Loud
As you've probably gathered by now, this site is NOT dedicated to the illustrious magnificence of Jeff Goldblum or the ancient art of rustic Alaskan basket weaving. Those topics are ace, but happen not to be my niche.
Nay friend, this site is all about BDSM, an interest that's incredibly common yet remains taboo.
The fact that we can't talk about it leads to dire consequences for many people, including:
injuries or death resulting from unsafe kinky practices,
misunderstandings about consent,
unnecessary shame, depression, and fear,
and last but not least ... miserable sex lives!
"Say it ain't so!"
'Tis so, my little bacon frittata. But it doesn't have to be!
To do BDSM safely, ethically, and in ways that feel amazing for all involved, we need to have honest and realistic conversations about it, like the grown-ass adults we are.
Y'know, with words.
OUT LOUD. (Git it?)
I created this site as a resource for people who are new to kink and may be working through common issues that many of us deal with in the beginning.
"All my knowledge has come from fiction. I know nothing about real-life BDSM. Where do I start?"
"I'm unfamiliar with the scene, its etiquette, or how to get involved.
Also, where and how can I meet the right partner?"
"I'm ashamed of my kink and wondering whether it means I'm
flawed / crazy / a bad person / doomed to burn in hell / etc."
I hear you and I've been there. It's my goal to share info that will help you stay safe, enjoy to the fullest, and be the type of play partner that changes the lives of others in invaluable ways.
My name's Molly Lazarus and I run this joint. Nice to meetcha.
I'm a kink & sexuality writer, BDSM community organizer, and newbie erotic fiction author. I'm a regular contributor to Kinkly and Beducated Magazine. I'm also the volunteer coordinator of the San Francisco chapter of Kinky Salon.
I grew up in the Bay Area, North America's loud and proud capital of kink, but didn't start practicing BDSM until my 20s while working in Osaka as a writer. During my first timid visit to a local fetish bar, I befriended the dominatrix who owned the place. She was kind enough to introduce me to the scene and I eventually began performing with her in small shibari shows.
I stepped away from performing after a short time, but Pandora's box had been blown wide open. I continued to learn, play, date, and experiment within the Japanese BDSM scene. There were primal, illuminating moments of catharsis alongside gut-wrenching instances of vulnerability and heartbreak. Through the good experiences and the bad I grew stronger, refined my boundaries, stumbled across hidden aspects of my sexuality, and shed other people's expectations of who I should be.
In 2017, I started organizing and hosting the only BDSM munch in the Osaka area at the time, which I'm thrilled to say is still alive and kicking today. Community organizing has given me countless opportunities to talk kink with hedonists of various backgrounds, nationalities, orientations, interests, levels of experience, and more. It's been a gratifying, eye-opening adventure.
These days I'm back in California, happy as a pig in shit to be part of the revolutionary kink community that's developed here. I've had the privilege of collaborating with a number of incredibly knowledgeable sexperts and superhero(ine)s of the local sex-positivity movement. I look forward to continuing this journey and sharing what I learn with you. Stay tuned.
I am a writer. I am NOT a doctor, lawyer, psychologist, neurologist, or dominatrix and can't help you with any specific kink-related issues that require the help of a licensed professional. This site is to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only.
And one more thing to keep in mind:
The BDSM community is made up of unique individuals with countless fetishes, preferences, and feelings about how things should be done. There's no single, "correct" way to approach kink (as long as you're playing safely, sanely, and consensually, of course).
Never try anything that doesn't feel right for you. One of the most rewarding aspects of BDSM is the knowledge it will allow you to discover about yourself. Above all, enjoy and be you.